Intro: Money and love don’t always mix. Here are a few tips for handling challenges in your romantic life and beyond.
Many of us have experienced a relationship going awry, whether it’s young love that didn’t work out or the more complicated scenario of a merged household splitting assets, income, and family time.
Even when things are going well, money can be tricky to navigate in relationships, but when things aren’t going well, the picture can become much more complex.
If a family member, a friend, or you yourself are working through a difficult situation, these money tips may help.
If you’re in a relationship
Remember money can be a sensitive topic
Money isn’t usually a fun subject, but for some people it can be particularly hard. For example, if your partner has struggled with money in the past or had difficult formative experiences, they may not wish to talk about it at all. It may be worth treading carefully until you establish how they approach money.
Talk about goals
Setting money goals together can help bring you and your partner onto the same page when it comes to behaviour, such as how much to spend each week.
Consider scaling finances
It’s common for one partner to earn more than the other. If this is the case, it can put pressure on the lower earning partner if they’re splitting the household costs. To solve this, some couples work out their pay difference and each partner pays a proportional amount towards the mortgage, bills, and other costs.
Know the signs of financial abuse
If your partner is holding onto the family finances – limiting how much you can spend, stopping you from earning your own money or questioning how you spend your money – it may be financial abuse.
Unfortunately, financial abuse can happen to anyone in both the early and latter stages of relationships.
If you’re worried about financial abuse in your household, you can find out more from WIRE – a free information and support service that allows users to browse anonymously and quickly close the browser if necessary.
If the relationship has broken down
Consider the practicalities
In the immediate aftermath of a relationship breakup, there are a number of financial matters to sort out, including who will live in the shared property, who will take over the mortgage if you own, and what you’ll do with joint bank accounts.
MoneySmart has a divorce and separation checklist, which may help.
Get professional advice
When shared assets are involved, separation can often be complicated. Consider speaking to a family lawyer for advice on how to proceed. Depending on your circumstances, you may be eligible for free advice at a community legal centre.
Remember, support is always available – including from your customer-owned bank – if you find yourself in a difficult situation.
Other places to get help
- Relationships Australia
- National Debt Helpline – 1800 007 007
- Lifeline – 13 11 14
- Beyond Blue – 1300 224 636